This is 40: A trip down Memory Street to the corner of Infertility Avenue

-

September 3

Over 2.5 years ago, I kept this super secret diary of my fertility treatments:


It's short, but so funny to go back to where my head was back then before we knew Mamie was coming. I daydreamed about what it would be like to take her to the beach! Guess what?  I had NO FREAKING IDEA how wonderful and nerve-wracking absolutely everything would be.

And I can read those medical updates now knowing that they worked, but back then? It was a monster few months of fear and uncertainty. In fact, Nick might reread all this and point out that I was the monster.

Can you believe we're going to try this again? Remember how old I'm going to be this month? I would love to hear about all the women you know who had babies after 40! But only the ones who felt great afterward and didn't fall over dead from exhaustion.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's not you, it's us. I don't think we're a good match.

-
Image
Just not a good match. Nearly ten years ago, a doctor told me diabetes would kill me, it was just a matter of how soon. I couldn't see the benefit of his ugly, callous prediction. I couldn't see the benefit of being locked into a medical relationship with someone who saw me as a hopeless expiration date. I decided even with long waits and insurance hurdles, it would always be worth it to find doctors who are supportive and try to understand me as a person. Today, I broke up with my obstetrician. I'm not convinced he's not a good doctor, but he's not a good fit for me.  He has been seeing me for two months to help me prepare for another baby, but I don't think he knows anything about me. Our appointments last less than 5 minutes, he gives me vaguely shaming advice to lose weight, "start" exercising, stop being diabetic. He has never asked me whether I exercise, what I eat, what I do to control my diabetes. He has made assumptions about my life...
Read more

Day 5 of social isolation; Day 3 of no contact outside of household

-
Which day am I counting from? Day 5 since the world changed (for us) or Day 3 since our last possible exposure to the virus? Once we get into double-digit days it won't make much difference, will it. I thought I would use this blog for something, just a quick list of what's going on with us. 1. I'm ordering a dough hook so we can make bread. We have a subscription to ATK's Young Chef's Club  (not sponsored). When I signed up a few months ago, I thought it would be a good way to extend Lizzie's feeding and sensory therapy. Now... 2. Lizzie's therapy is suspended until this virus passes. She has come so far in the last 6 months with preschool and extra therapy. She will keep growing. I just wish... 3. She could be with her friends, teachers, and therapists. She asks about them every day. At least... 4. Mamie was able to Zoom with her teacher and class yesterday. I know her school is going to develop the best remote learning set up we could ask for. A...
Read more

I spend 24 hours alone and this is what happened

-
Image
I just booked a hotel room for two nights in November. The hotel is about 5 minutes from my house. I will go for one night of utter solitude and then hand it off to Nick to take a night away from home. If it is in your means and you have also not been alone in 7 months, I recommend a 24 hour retreat. I can make this recommendation from my vast experience having done it for the first time 4 days ago. Here's a sampling of what I did during my 24-hour retreat: Wrote uninterrupted for several hours. Watched a documentary about Abraham Lincoln. Watched MTV's Ghosted, because I'm both high brow and low brow. Watched CNN because I am pretty middle brow too, if we're honest. Ordered a steak dinner and ate it in courses over the entire evening. Ate 6 Reese's cups (which are banned in our house due to allergy). Set an alarm for 10 a.m., the latest I could possibly sleep. (Woke up at 8 a.m. anyway.) Made every decision considering only what I wanted and not the wants and needs...
Read more