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Showing posts from July, 2009

better

Image by bklyn down via FlickrMarkedly less depressive now that I was a few days ago! Man, I just have to keep control on my schedule and stop using caffeine in place of sleep. Insomnia has always triggered the crazies for me.

Barren

Image via WikipediaI've not treated myself so well these last few days, not sleeping enough, living on junk and caffeine and anxiety. It's an awful cycle to get jacked up on junk, not be able to sleep, need more caffeine to function, never sleep, take pills to sleep, get more tired but too anxious and still awake.

So these last few nights when I was finally too tired to brain my school work, but too tired to sleep, I've been caught in this nasty loop of contemplating my infertility. THUD <-- (the sound of people who suddenly stopped reading and closed this page.)

I guess it flared up a few days ago when I heard some asinine comment about gay people not having valid marriages because they can't reproduce. I take that personally because, obviously, the same logic invalidates my marriage, right? I don't think it's too uncommon for women with infertility to get their self-worth all wrapped up in not being able to perform this very very basic biological functio…