This is 40: A morning routine that works if you work it

September 2

My alarm is set for sunrise. Once a week, I update the alarm to coincide with the creeping sunrise, because I believe in nature's awakenings. I also believe waking up before the sun is an abomination. Fortunately, Mamie agrees with me most days.

Maybe the alarm goes off, maybe it doesn't. Maybe there was no alarm because my phone died when I fell asleep listening to podcasts last night. Maybe I slept through the alarm but had one of those cool dreams about ripping a haunted alarm clock apart because it won’t stop beeping. Maybe I wake up 30 minutes before the alarm when Nick comes in from his run listening to Judge John Hodgman without headphones. 

At some point I awaken.

Is Mamie awake? If she is awake, how long can I pretend she is not awake before I have to go get her? If I wait past the critical point on her boredom meter, I will find her sans pajamas. Any further than that, sans diaper. She will hear my footsteps, and pretend to be asleep. She will point at the discarded clothing and say "uh oh." I say, "Oh no, your pajamas fell off again?"  I don't know which of us is fooling.

The first goal of the day, above all, is to avoid having to wash the sheets, blanket, and 12 friends in her crib.

Mamie eats breakfast -- yogurt or Cheerios or banana or oatmeal or a combo. I do not eat while Mamie eats because then she only wants to eat what I'm eating, even if it's exactly the same.  She stabs her finger at the table and says, "Right there!" so I know where she expects me to forfeit my food.

I drink coffee for breakfast or put a few spoonfuls of instant coffee in a smoothie. It goes with everything. 

Here is a recipe for my delicious smoothie:

• banana
• a few glops of plain Greek yogurt
• a spoonful of flax meal
• a spoonful of unsweetened coconut
• a spoonful of instant coffee (I wasn't kidding.)
• a few glug glugs of chocolate almond milk
• ice cubes because I like it frosty

Buzz in the Magic Bullet and bam! Breakfast.