Skip to main content

Does starting the terrible twos early mean we'll be done early?

I will spare my daughter her dignity by not posting a picture of her facedown on the floor and screaming. This is not her true self.  You know she's a happy little darling.

But today is one of those days. All Mamie wants to do are the specific things I've told her not to do: playing with wall sockets, climbing on the coffee table, pulling out dirty diapers. She has shown a genius-level aptitude for identifying limits and pushing them. I know this determination builds the independence that will define her later. Her new brain is both overwhelmed with information and begging to be challenged. She has honed her physical coordination for walking, climbing, grabbing, throwing, but knows no context for when those things are not safe or appropriate.

And worst of all, Mama's annoyance feeds into her need for stimulation. She yells for me to come to her, she runs away, she hides, she gets quiet, I find her back in one of the naughty spots I just pulled her out of.

Then she makes a shame face, tucking her ear into her shoulder. I tell her I know she's sorry, we'll figure it out together.


Popular posts from this blog

It's not you, it's us. I don't think we're a good match.

Nearly ten years ago, a doctor told me diabetes would kill me, it was just a matter of how soon. I couldn't see the benefit of his ugly, callous prediction. I couldn't see the benefit of being locked into a medical relationship with someone who saw me as a hopeless expiration date. I decided even with long waits and insurance hurdles, it would always be worth it to find doctors who are supportive and try to understand me as a person.

Today, I broke up with
my obstetrician.

I'm not convinced he's not a good doctor, but he's not a good fit for me.  He has been seeing me for two months to help me prepare for another baby, but I don't think he knows anything about me. Our appointments last less than 5 minutes, he gives me vaguely shaming advice to lose weight, "start" exercising, stop being diabetic. He has never asked me whether I exercise, what I eat, what I do to control my diabetes. He has made assumptions about my lifestyle based on my appearance, …

On not waiting for the perfect time

When I got pregnant the second time, I was waiting for that stage to end before I would live my life. Exercise, activities with kids, travel, writing, house projects... Then after the Lizzie came and things were so complicated, I still found myself waiting until she was older, waiting to get out of tangle of doctor appointments.  Then I was planning to start life after both kids were in school, at least three years away! Enough!  Anything I want to do can be adapted to start now, incorporating the kids and whatever challenges we face in our plans.  Some dreams may be better suited for the future, but there will be no more blanket attitude of putting things off for later when it would presumably be easier or less busy. 
There is no perfect time, but the best time could be now.

An insomniac who just can't be satisfied

I had an essay published on over the holidays.... read here:

The Value of Late-Night Solitude: A Former Insomniac’s LamentMy insomnia is cured. I take my medication, turn off the lights, and fall straight to sleep. Waking up rested, having energy all day, productivity, and better moods – I am not ungrateful for these benefits. But a little part of me misses those wakeful late nights.