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It's not you, it's us. I don't think we're a good match.

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Just not a good match. Nearly ten years ago, a doctor told me diabetes would kill me, it was just a matter of how soon. I couldn't see the benefit of his ugly, callous prediction. I couldn't see the benefit of being locked into a medical relationship with someone who saw me as a hopeless expiration date. I decided even with long waits and insurance hurdles, it would always be worth it to find doctors who are supportive and try to understand me as a person. Today, I broke up with my obstetrician. I'm not convinced he's not a good doctor, but he's not a good fit for me.  He has been seeing me for two months to help me prepare for another baby, but I don't think he knows anything about me. Our appointments last less than 5 minutes, he gives me vaguely shaming advice to lose weight, "start" exercising, stop being diabetic. He has never asked me whether I exercise, what I eat, what I do to control my diabetes. He has made assumptions about my life...
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The power of irrational thinking when you are training for a half marathon

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This is the phase in my half-marathon training when I start to have vague, pit-of-stomach doubts about whether I will be able to do it. Time telescopes and miles stretch so they are at least three miles long each. I mentioned my training to the doctor a few weeks ago with a reluctant and doubtful tone. "I'm still running? Training for a half-marathon? But like, I don't know."  "When is the race?" "December?"  "So three months away."   "Oh my god you're right, I have three months. It felt so much closer."  "And you only need to be able to run 6-7 miles before the race."   "I can do 6 miles, I do that now! And I still have three months!"  See how powerful the irrational mind can be? I forgot the actual facts of my training program, lost perspective on time and distance, and totally tricked myself into thinking I couldn't do this. My conversation with the doctor really helped me rec...
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Guess what? THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

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Nick and I chose today to lift the embargo on the juiciest, most game-changing information in our lives: WE ARE HAVING A BABY BEYER!!! For weeks I have been barely able to speak to anyone, because what would I talk about if not this? Yes, the axis of the earth shifted to be centered directly through my womb. (For a tiny taste of what we were going through before EVERYTHING CHANGED you can read some private blogging I did here: annaseggdrop.blogspot.com ) So, with way more than a little effort on the part of at least a dozen people, the miracle of life occurred inside me, and revealed itself through many home pregnancy tests, blood tests, and panic attacks.  At six weeks, we saw a heartbeat, which did not make Nick cry. (Allergies. Dry air.) At eight weeks, ultrasound showed an indecipherable peanut, and I could even hear the heartbeat. Now at 10 weeks (pictured above), we are all still cool, staying strong on a diet primarily made up of saltines and diet ginger ale. T...
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