My anxieties stand in line all day so they can pop out just when I am ready to go to sleep. Tonight the leaders are all the things the neurosurgeon said were potential risks of this spinal surgery. I don't need to list them here in bold letters, and if it weren't so dark and quiet right now I wouldn't be reminded of them.
I would rather think of the potential AWESOMES of spinal surgery: no numbness or pain! no lifting or driving for six weeks! a new short hair cut so it doesn't get tangled in my cervical collar! lots of time to read and nap!
I am scheduled to have a discectomy with fusion of two cervical vertebrae on May 24. You can see why in the handy-dandy visual aid to the left. That vertical center line is my spine and the black bulge in the middle of it is the offending disc. So far it is only bad enough to cause pain, numbness, and weakness in my neck, shoulder, arm, and hand. Unchecked, it could eventually cause loss of control of my everything. That's why we are fixing it! No worries. He says I have strong spinal ligaments and they will hold everything together for the next three weeks. I am cautioned, however, to not consult a chiropractor or lift a laundry basket, just to be safe.
Assuming surgery goes perfectly and I'm am cured, I am still anxious about recovering for six weeks. About being stuck in this house, bored, sick of looking at the cats, missing Starbucks and trips to the grocery store, turning pale and haunted, running out of things to watch on teevee. I have started a notebook to list allowed post-surgery activities. Maybe I could cross-stitch!!!!!! Just brainstorming.