Sunday, March 7, 2010

making my confession

Last night I did something I feel pretty guilty about. (Bear with me, because it's not about what I ate.)

We were driving home from Denton and it was time to stop for dinner. I was holding out for Schlotzskys because I've been dreaming of a Cinnabon! (No, really, my guilt is not about that.) Finally we stopped at an exit that happened to have a Schlotzskys, so that's the good news. The guy at the counter flubbed our order a little and said "sorry, it's been a crazy night." No worries, but I thought it was a strange thing to say since there weren't many people in there. It was maybe 10 minutes later when the red flags started to go up. I heard a customer complaining that she had waited more than 30 minutes. Uh oh. Not what you want to hear when you are trying to get through a 5 hour drive before midnight.

I listened, amused, and started to wonder if I should worry about our order. I saw that a customer who ordered after us was bearing down at the counter and actually getting her order. I thought, ok this is how you have to do it, just go complain about waiting and it will get made faster.

I stood there watching about 10 minutes before I said to the sandwich-maker, "Do you know what the status of my order is?" She asked what we ordered. I told her, but what followed was an exasperating back-and-forth about which sandwich was ours and how it should be made. She asked me, what's supposed to be on this? (Nick's pastrami and swiss)"

I said, with plenty of attitude, (this is the sinful part), "I don't know what's on it! I don't work here!"

Sadly, that didn't really have a motivating effect. I think the woman was pretty downtrodden already because of the building chaos of 20ish people waiting for orders and complaining openly. No I didn't handle it with kindness and I still feel bad about it.

Ultimately we were in the Schlotzskys for an hour and didn't get home til after midnight. Another exasperated worker said they only had four people working and they were all new. By the time we left customers were demanding their money back and walking in and leaving without even ordering. I know I didn't help the problem by being rude, but whoever made that schedule and left those people to flail on a Saturday night should be fired.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

No one is looking at you

Dear Diary,

I waited almost a week to tell you about my last 5k!

Every one of these experiences comes with its own lesson, and this one was clear from the beginning. This is me when Nick and I pulled into the parking lot at 7:30 Saturday morning:

Hey, do you want to just save the entrance fee and go do our 3.1 miles at the park?

And we would be done faster because we wouldn't have to wait til 9 to start!

Etc.

He got really frustrated with me and said, "If you don't want to do it, just say so!"

He forced me to realize I did want to do it, I was just afraid. Afraid of being chased by jackals? Afraid of the ground swallowing me up? (No joke it happened very nearby not too long ago.) I wasn't even afraid I couldn't do it because 3 miles is no big deal anymore.

I was afraid people would look at me funny! With there little beady zero-body-fat eyes! Look at that girl! She got lost on the way to IHOP this morning! I HATE that kind of judgment, but I am the one visiting it upon myself most often!

I'm going to make this little note to myself really bold so maybe I can remember it:

PEOPLE ARE TOO WORRIED ABOUT THEMSELVES TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU.

Right? Is that guy in the professional racing gear thinking about whether I fit in or about his own goals? Yeah, probably not me. I just always get so nervous thinking I'm going to be humiliated or made fun of. To my knowledge, this has never actually happened.

The race turned out pretty great, a sunny walk/run through UTSA's campus. And if you remember from about a month ago, I'm logging miles to earn a treadmill. I now have 62/100!!!