Saturday, June 3, 2017
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
I know it's taboo to talk about low self-esteem because it makes other people sad. (I made my first therapist cry.) Unless you are a modern master of the self-denigration that's considered holy in our world -- it's totally acceptable to find fault with yourself if the message is draped by a heavy blanket of good intentions for self improvement.
I'm writing this as my perfect child watches cartoons on the floor. I don't want to teach her any of my fucked up self-loathing concepts. I don't know if that earns me self-improvement cred, and I don't care.
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Oh yeah, it sure is.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Saturday, August 13, 2016
I am going through a little science fiction phase. I guess I have been for several decades.
Friday, August 5, 2016
But now is NOW, and we're all happy. We and the doctors are confident Lizzie's lingering medical issues will resolve in no time. My activities are restricted for a few more weeks, but I feel back to normal 90 percent of the time. Mamie is Big Sister #1, on duty to help with diapers, bottles, pacis, and toys at all times. We are all extremely fortunate that Nick could take a whole month of paternity leave -- I know few people have that luxury.
On Monday, that month ends! I'm not the first person to be home alone with a toddler and a baby, but it will still be a first for me! I am trying to substitute organization for confidence. I am reminding myself the babysitter comes on Wednesday and Thursday, so it's not like I really am on my own all week. I am surveying the internet for tips related to this situation. I welcome all advice, motivational quotes, expressions of solidarity.
- OK, I'm not 1/10 as anxious as this mom was.
- "Just remember everything is temporary!"
- My own brilliant advice for not feeling trapped by your toddler also applies to not feeling trapped by two kids!
- "It really does not matter if (she) spends three months parked in front of the telly."
Monday, May 9, 2016
Mamie is 2 years, 7 months old and 36 inches tall, which is very tall. Her favorite things are dinosaurs, books, cooking, and outside.
Right this second, her two chicken friends, Peep and Bok, are talking to each other.
Bok is Peep's mom.
Her hair has grown down to her waist band, and she runs when I say the word "ponytail."
She is trying to learn the word "skull" but usually says "head bone." Daddy has no head bone because he is a jelly head.
She does not nap. You don't have to ask me if she took a nap today, because if she had, I would have called TMZ.
She woke me up for breakfast yesterday and said "Happy Mother's Day." Nick said she did not practice.
She is so patient and happy while Mommy conserves energy to grow her little sister.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
What is not yours is not yours
Mamie likes the shadow puppets on the cover. The library would like for me to return this week-overdue copy because there's a long line of people waiting to read it.
"Modern surreal fairytales" is the best description I have heard of Oyeyemi's work, and I'm a fan. This one makes me want to hear ghost stories.
Shirley: A novel
Susan Scarf Merrell
I don't know exactly what to expect yet. How does Shirley Jackson work out as a creepy character outside her own creepy creations?
Friday, March 4, 2016
March 17, 2015
Today’s focus is my diabetes health. I have one month until my next appointment and A1c check. These are the things I can do for the best outcome but then:Most of last year I was so desperate to lower my blood sugar and start fertility treatments. Now I am 20 weeks pregnant and my A1c is lower than it was a year ago. I guess the plan worked!
- Follow insulin regimen
- Send bs readings to dgd every thursday for adjustments
- Check blood sugar AT LEAST four times a day
- Exercise 30 minutes per day
- Avoid drive thru food and pizza delivery
- Take all supplements
- Take fertility tea daily
- Keep stress down
- Increase fruit and vegetable consumption during the day
- Stick to sleep schedule
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
I started looking for a painter last year and was shocked to get two quotes around 4 times what I expected. I had a few panic attacks and refused to think about it again till this year.
Then, you know, nesting. There are so many things I have vowed to get done before Baby 2 is here, and painting is first on the list. A few weeks ago, I scheduled three more estimates from the top painters on the Better Business Bureau.
1) I canceled because their website was really fancy, and they claimed to work really well with designers. I'm thinking this painter might go beyond the scope of my "just paint it" project.
2) Came over to look at the house and then sent me a rude email claiming the project was beyond what they could tackle to their usual standards. Panic attack. This is so bad I won't be able to find anyone to paint the house at any cost?
3) Incredibly nice contractor with good reputation submits a proposal at the exact right price.
And they start today!