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I heard people only read things formatted as lists?

10 things I do daily

  1. Write personal essays about motherhood, anxiety, books, wellness, and other topics I may not have thought of yet.
  2. Have intense conversations with my toddler and preschooler, covering topics from "Nose!" to "Where's dad?"
  3. Run, walk, run/walk, or take a break from running and walking. I'm training for a half marathon.
  4. Drink coffee, try not to drink Diet Coke, navigate a number of inner struggles about beverage choices.
  5. Manage my anxiety through television, medication, oracle readings, desperately seeking affirmation from friends and family, journaling, and other relaxation techniques.
  6. Read little snips of 2-10 books, and look sadly at the 2-foot stack of magazines I've been trying to catch up on since 2013.
  7. Vaccuum, Swiffer, dust-bust, and sweep up two tons of cat hair and Cheerios.
  8. Take children to activities and appointments, entirely neglecting my own health and interests.
  9. Text with my BFF about wellness; text with my husband about what's for dinner.
  10. Make travel plans.

3 things I rarely do

  1. Mop.
  2. Garden.
  3. Play with Legos.

3 things I plan to do

  1. Stand-up paddle board.
  2. Write books.
  3. Buy a house in Cape Cod.


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This is not how my mama raised me.

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Things change.

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Milestones, I curse you with the foulest language!

I just created a document to list the words I've heard Lizzie say. I count 14, but I haven't consulted with Nick or her grandparents to see if I've missed any. I'm doing this homework so when people question me about her development, I can say assuredly whether or not she is meeting her milestones. This week I was ashamed to not know whether she typically leads with her right or left foot, or if she often kneels while playing, and if so, are her hips bent or straight? What direction does the third finger on her left hand point while she lays in bed on the night of a full moon? There are so many things I didn't realize I should be noticing.

I hate all those stupid f**king lists of milestones. I can't articulate it any better than that.

So many nagging lists of things a child "should" be doing. I think "should" implies some moral imperative or an obligation to meet external expectations, and I swear the word doesn't apply to a baby.

That s…