Friday, February 12, 2010

junky secret

I'm working my program at Weight Watchers, as you may know. I say "working my program" because that's the way they say it at Alcoholics Anonymous and other addiction programs. I've never been to AA, but I know enough from pop culture to see the similarities. We show up for our meetings every week (more often if you're really struggling), tell our personal tales, get stickers and trinkets for passing milestones. I'm ok with the analogy.

So I'm working my program, tracking everything, using the motivational tools. But I have a dirty little secret. My secret is the junk I eat on the way home from work when I'm stressed or upset.

You can find the evidence of my secret in my car. The garbage in my car at the end of the week tells the complete story of how bad my mood has been. This week you would find a KING SIZE Reese's wrapper and a bag from Sonic (with clearly visible tater tot residue).

When I stopped at the grocery store Tuesday, the thought of an illicit REGULAR-SIZED Reese's was just not enough. I had to have the double shot, please, and I ate it before I was even out of the parking lot. The tots-urge hit me today. I actually have oven tots at home, but my mood wouldn't tolerate the delay.

According to my program I should take this time to examine what is behind the transgressions and implement new coping mechanisms. The truth is I don't understand the connection between a monumentally shitty day (year) at work and craving junk food. I just wanted to start by making my confession and exposing my hiding place. If you're ever in my car, please insist on examining my garbage.
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4 comments:

  1. It's a very real phenomenon. I wish there was a switch that made healthy things more appealing for bad day bandaids. Or better yet, no food at all. Now I want sonic. Sigh.

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  2. Oh I'm the master of this. After I eat what I shouldnt I hide the wrappers - even from myself! Sometimes if I'm at home and dont eat the whole package I must throw what's left away... and then scoop the cat boxes or throw out coffee grinds. Anything to cover it so I dont dig thru the trash for the last bite if it's still wrapped!

    In my car a quick drive by a gas station will do the trick to hide a wrapper in the can by the pump. Or stuff it in my pocket & drop it in the garbage can that's outside Winn Dixie where I buy healthier choices for dinner!

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  3. My car shows evidence of the same phenomenom. Not added to the debris today was a 6 pack of Krispy Kremes. I managed to drive right past, even though I had damn near convinced myself I not only wanted, but deserved them. It's not just a daily struggle, it's a minute by minute one.

    And the analogy is very appropriate. Isn't there an Overeater's Anonymous?

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  4. Hardcore, Jeremy. This I'm trying not to eat anything processed and hoping to lose 2 lbs.

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