Skip to main content

Running?

The jog path/walkway along the Kukkarahally lakeImage via Wikipedia

I don't even know if I can call what I've done "running". For the few minutes I do it, it must look like a slow-motion version of someone who actually runs very slowly.

Regardless.

I can really see the future when it's more something I do than something I wish I could do. And I'm committed to getting there, however humiliating the interim is.

I may have mentioned I started a meetup.com group for beginner runners. We meet every Saturday, which I expect to keep me committed. The tough thing is that no one I the group so far is quite as "beginner" as I am. At yesterday's meetup, I was so embarassed about my inability. I just don't want people to think I'm lazy or dumb.

BUT! Yes, I know I have to tackle that fear on my own, and likely most people don't stop worrying about themselves long enough to judge me. It will just be an emotional process of adjustment for me, and I look forward to that as much as the physical process.
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Comments

  1. Yeah, you do know how to tackle it! And I bet they are just thrilled for you that your doing it. I am.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's not you, it's us. I don't think we're a good match.

Nearly ten years ago, a doctor told me diabetes would kill me, it was just a matter of how soon. I couldn't see the benefit of his ugly, callous prediction. I couldn't see the benefit of being locked into a medical relationship with someone who saw me as a hopeless expiration date. I decided even with long waits and insurance hurdles, it would always be worth it to find doctors who are supportive and try to understand me as a person.

Today, I broke up with
my obstetrician.

I'm not convinced he's not a good doctor, but he's not a good fit for me.  He has been seeing me for two months to help me prepare for another baby, but I don't think he knows anything about me. Our appointments last less than 5 minutes, he gives me vaguely shaming advice to lose weight, "start" exercising, stop being diabetic. He has never asked me whether I exercise, what I eat, what I do to control my diabetes. He has made assumptions about my lifestyle based on my appearance, …

An insomniac who just can't be satisfied

I had an essay published on Parent.co over the holidays.... read here:

The Value of Late-Night Solitude: A Former Insomniac’s LamentMy insomnia is cured. I take my medication, turn off the lights, and fall straight to sleep. Waking up rested, having energy all day, productivity, and better moods – I am not ungrateful for these benefits. But a little part of me misses those wakeful late nights.

Who needs a better body (image)?

Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-AcceptanceBy Rosie Molinary
Someone might have alleged that I have body image issues. So I did what I do -- checked out a half-dozen books about body image from the library.
This one I even own! But I checked it out anyway because my library is still not catalogued, and I couldn't find it. Our library is great now, so cozy since we redecorated. That's another subject. 
So allegedly I have these body image/self-esteem issues which are hard to challenge because maybe I have evidence that I'm a grotesque beast, and you present little evidence to the contrary, other than your "opinion". 
I admit, it wouldn't hurt anyone for me to read about radical self-acceptance and maybe do some journaling exercises. So I did the first exercise in this book:
1. What do you want for yourself and the world in terms of beauty perception and body image? How can you act on that today?
I want to feel beautiful every day and love my body no matt…